The Treasure of 11 months

"But Mary treasured up all these things, pondering them in her heart." Luke 2:19

In the past 11 months this verse has come to my mind many times. "Treasure up".... for the first time in my life I've been able to really understand what this phrase means. To hold dear, to tuck away for future reminiscing. To treasure up. Many times I've thought about coming back to this blog and writing about Jacob. There are a multitude of reasons why I haven't. One being that exhaustion doesn't exactly lend itself to good writing. ;-) Two being that every moment with Jacob is priceless. When I was pregnant one of my friends gave me some wise advice, "Take a year off and enjoy your blessing." She was actually talking about my involvement in church ministries, but since I struggle to say "No" I applied it to all of my life outside of my home. So I've spent the past 11 months focused on my home and the two men in my life. It has been the best 11 months of my life. The freedom that has come from just being home tending to my domain has been exhilarating. The challenges that have come from just being home have definitely stretched me spiritually.

Of course not everything has been all rosy and sublime. Sleepless nights and Jacob's acid reflux and lactose intolerance, and a stuffed doggy randomly belting out the ABC song at 1 in the morning have definitely given me some trying, teary moments. Through it all I've had Jeff there to remind me "This is what we've been waiting for and it is all worth it." So here are some things I've treasured up these past 11 months. 11 months that I once thought I would never have and may never have again:

~ Hearing Jacob just grunt as soon as he was born and calming down as soon as he heard Jeff's voice.
~ His little hand holding mine as I fed him.
~ Taking naps with him curled up against me.
~ Singing together as I put him to sleep.
~ Hearing him hum and talk himself to sleep...sometimes he even talks and then laughs. Like he just told a joke or something.
~ Watching him talk to his animals on his bouncy seat.
~ Seeing his foot/eye coordination develop as he began kicking the toys on his jungle gym.
~ Hearing him say "Dada" for the first time.
~ Watching him crawl up to the bathtub, stand up, pull back the shower curtain and just start squealing and talking to the tub. He LOVES water!
~ Watching him sign "more" for the first time when he wanted more cheerios and seeing the delight in his eyes when he knew that I understood him.
~ Waving "bye-bye" and saying "Dada" when Dada was gone and I told Jacob that we were going to go bye-bye.
~ Watching him take his sock that had fallen off, crawl back into the living room and throw it into the laundry basket (his association and generalization skills are AMAZING!).
~ Having him clap when I walked into the room to get him one morning.
~ Playing our little game of "zurberts" on the cheek.
~ Holding him as his face lies snuggled into my neck.
~ Trying not to trip over him and the Tupperware all over the kitchen floor as I cook.
~ Hearing the "pound, pound, pound" of his little hands across the floor as he follows me from room to room.
~ Hearing him laugh as we play. He has the GREATEST laugh!

These moments and so many more are the treasures of the past 11 months.

"Gratitude consists in a watchful, minute attention to the particulars of our state, and to the multitude of God's gifts, taken one by one....And all our whole life is thereby...filled with a gladness, serenity, and peace which only thankful hearts can know."  H.E. Manning

Jellybean's arrival

Well, I've been meaning to post this for awhile now. I'm sure y'all can't guess why I wouldn't have time! So now I some catch up to do.

On April 27 I woke up around 9am feeling tired and huge and just yucky. Around 9:30 I thought I started feeling some contractions. I spent the morning in denial doing laundry, making my menu and grocery list etc. Around 11 I sat down to time them and they were 5-7 minutes apart for 1 hour. So I sat there thinking, I think this is it! Then I freaked out because my laundry room was flowing with dirty laundry, my refridgerator was empty and my hospital bag still had a few things to put it in so around I rushed to do the things that just had to be done while Jeff mowed the grass and went to the store for the essentials.

I sat back down to time the contractions and then I called my doctor to let her know that I was in labor. While I was waiting for her to call back my water broke. Exactly what I did not want to happen! I called the doctor back and told the nurse what happened and of course they told me to come right down.

By the time I got to the hospital I had a fever so I had to be placed on antibiotics. I was also positive for Strep B so I had to have medicine for that too. Jellybean's heart was also starting to fluctuate with contractions. This last little detail scared me a little but over all I felt an awesome sense of peace. By the time they got me to the birthing room my contractions were painful! From then on the night went rough. Basically to sum it all up, after 14 hours of labor I only dialated to 9cm and I just stayed there so I ended up having to have a C-section. But here is who I got to see after all of the work...

Jacob Andrew born on 4/28 at 5:00am 9lbs 4oz 21 inches long

Words cannot describe this moment. My heart will always treasure the first time I looked into his eyes.

Family Shower ~ April 10

Unfortunately I didn't take any pictures at the actual shower. I had been up since 4:00am and I hadn't been able to take a nap and it was a warm day so I was exhausted and really swollen by the time I got to the shower. I still had a GREAT time though! I have LOVED being close to my family during this time. Most of my aunts, uncles, cousins, great-aunts, great-uncles, on both my mom's and dad's side live within a 5 mile radius of where I grew up so family had always been an important part of my life. I have LOTS of fond memories with not only my 1st cousins but also my 2nd and 3rd cousins. It was really awesome to see how God provided almost everything else I needed by leading my family to get just the right gifts. Today I am going to have fun washing all of the clothes and then making my list to purchase the things I need to have on hand before JB arrives.

My Grandma C. is THEE expert when it comes to sewing. She has made all of her grandchildren heirloom quilts and she has made every great-grandchild a quilt following this pattern "The Log Cabin."

The back is John Deer flannel. JB will love it! She also made a matching burp cloth, bibs, and a stuffed frog. Yes she is one dear and talented Grandma!

I am now full-term! 37 Weeks! Praise the Lord!

Here I am in all of my swollen glory! Jeff asked me the other day if I was going to miss being pregnant. To be totally honest, no at this point I am ready to be done. I am definitely learning the truth of what one of my friends told me a long time ago...the last month is so miserable so that you actually look forward to labor and delivery. Actually it isn't that terrible, but it is definitely not heavenly!

I had an ultrasound on March 31st and they thought that Jellybean is 7lbs. 3oz. Which means he could be around 9lbs. when he is born. Definitely a healthy "little" guy! I'll have another ulstrasound next week to see if he actually growing at that rate. I'm just praying that I will go into labor naturally and soon! Judging by his movements the little man does not have a whole lot of room in there! We are so ready to meet him!

Church Shower March 18, 2010

The scrumptious cake Bonnie made.The diaper cake Diana made.

There were strollers filled with jellybeans all over the table! :-)

As always the ladies at GIRBC were soooo generous! Not only did I get a great variety of clothes and nursery essentials, but I also received my travel system!

       Some of my dear friends who hosted the shower.

One of the games they played was trying to guess how big around I was by tearing off toilet paper squares. It was HILARIOUS to see all of the shenanigans they pulled trying to figure out how big I was. Since I'm the only pregnant woman at GIRBC right now a lot of people think that I am "so big." They've been waiting for me to pop for about two months now! :-) Much to everyone's suprise I am ONLY 11 squares big! LOL!

6 weeks and 5 days to go!

The end is in sight! Sometimes it seems as if the next few weeks are going to be the longest of my life! The more I feel Jellybean's little back, butt, knees, feet and hands the more I just want him to be here right now! Sleeping has not be that great for me lately, but then I guess I'll be more prepared for when Jellybean arrives right?!

I went to the doctor yesterday and everything looks great. It seems as if Jellybean had his growth spurt back around 20 weeks and now he is growing at a "normal" rate. He is around 4 -4 1/2 pounds right now and expected to be around 7 lbs. when he is born. I was THRILLED to hear that! I was not looking forward to delivering a big baby!

We've been to our Childbirth class and have the nursery all ready. Now I'm just looking forward to my showers coming up and taking care of all the gifts from those. Everyday I meditate upon the awesomeness of God. I hope I never loose sight of what an AMAZING miracle God has brought into our lives.

I've been doing a lot of thinking and studying upon what kind of mother I want to be. I've had the blessing of being able to watch many godly women raise their kids throughout the years. There is one mother who sticks out to me: my mom. My mom and I are best friends so of course I've always looked up to her. The closer I get to physical motherhood though the more I stand in amazement of my mom. I seriously think she would be a great mentor for many young mom's out there. She has always shown such sacrifical, selfless love (in otherwords TRUE love). She raised 5 children, homeschooled the 3 oldest K-12th, makes wonderful homecooked meals, bought clothes etc. for us often leaving no money for herself, thought of the neatest crafts and outdoor excersions all throughout the year (don't remember her complaining about coming out and playing with us in the snow), and through it all always made us laugh. In fact in a day when I hear so many young mom's complain about this hardship or that hardship of motherhood I think of my mom. What stands out the most about my mom is that she is full of JOY because she knows where true JOY comes from:

Jesus first, Others second, Yourself last.

In highschool and college my friends would always tell me "You have the coolest mom." Yep I do.

I'm in the 3rd Trimester!

Here is a picture of me at 28 weeks. I'm actually measuring 29 weeks. Right on track for Jellybean being in the 90th percentile. My placenta has moved up and his head is facing down so everything looks great!
I know it has been forever since I've posted updates. I've been busy showing hospitality and getting ready for Jellybean. I've lost track of how many people I've fed these past 5 weeks! I'm so thankful that I have had more energy this past month then I have had my whole pregnancy.

Here are some pics of Jeff putting the crib together.

All ready for our little boy (except I need to get a mattress pad). Later that night we were leaving to head out for my parents and Jeff said, "Just a minute I have to go look at my little boy's room." The next morning I caught him standing in the doorway staring in. So SWEET! He is going to be the BEST daddy!

I'll post more pictures of the nursery once we get it done.

Jellybean is a BOY!

Most of you have probably heard by now that Jellybean is a boy. A very healthy boy! He is in the 91st percentile for height and weight. If he is keeps growing at this rate he might be an April baby instead of a May baby! :-)
We are thrilled that Jellybean is a little boy. Growing up I'd always pictured myself as having a girl first, but all that we have been through these past 5 years has a way of changing those "picture perfect" dreams. Many thoughts come to mind after finding out Jellybean is a boy:

1. This isn't our first child, it is not even our second  or third child. Who knows anyone of the children we lost could have been girls.
2. Waiting, praying, and crying for just one healthy child for all these years has made me thankful for either a boy or a girl. We are just thrilled to have A child!
3. In all the infertility challenges a thought that made me the saddest was the fact that Jeff is the last Johnson and I wanted so bad to give him a little boy. Someone who would carry on the Johnson name. In God's miraculous goodness He had allowed me to give my loving, faithful husband a little boy.
4. Ever since I knew for sure that I was pregnant I have felt that Jellybean was a boy. So I have had 5 months to sit and think about raising a little boy. There isn't a better man to raise a son than my husband. Lord willing one day our little boy will be a fine Christian man thanks to the loving, faithful example of his daddy who daily exemplifies the love and compassion of our Heavenly Father.

All in all, I've learned through the years that God's ways are not our ways. His ways are PERFECT!

I'm recovering from a sinus infection so you will just have to ignore how bad I look!

Jellybean stretching

His profile. Our favorite picture. He has Jeff's big head! :-) Just look at his cute little facial features!

The proof that Jellybean is definitely a boy! ;-)

Jeff's little baby outfit and shoes. His mom had them all washed and ready for us to take home and put on Jellybean! No we haven't decided on a name yet.

20 Weeks!!!

I have hit the 5 month mark! I am halfway done with my pregnancy! WAHOO!!! Best of all just in case you hadn't heard yet, we get to find out WHO Jellybean is this coming Friday!!! YAY!! That is as long as he/she cooperates. I had an ultrasound a few weeks ago and the cord was between its legs and Jellybean would NOT move for anything! Of course as soon as we get out into the waiting room he/she starts moving all around! I know, I know, with Jeff being the daddy antics like that don't surprise you right?!! Yeah, just one more thing that convinces me that Jellybean is a boy.
These past few weeks have been a lot of fun because Jellybean has been moving a lot. It is so cool how I can start to learn his/her personality. I have learned that he/she likes to hear me sing (or maybe he/she is complaining). He/she does a great job in distracting me as I am trying to practice for the Christmas Concert at church! I've also learned that he/she really likes it when I eat sugar. It feels like he/she does summersaults after I eat sugar! Mmmm...............what lies in my future???!!!

Make sure you stay tuned....

Thanksgiving Weekend

We have sooooo much to be thankful for!

My Latest Challenge

Well, I always told myself that if God allowed me to get pregnant I wouldn't complain about any of the symptoms. So I think God is just giving me all of these "lovely" symptoms in order to show me that I can't even not complain without His help.
Last night I was up b/c of a stuffy nose, intense sinus pressure, heartburn that really felt more like acid reflux, and aching legs. I was lying on the couch trying to get comfortable and trying not to grumble. I was praying and telling myself that it really is all worth it. When all of the sudden Jellybean started moving. At this point it feels like little taps. Its like he/she was saying, "Its okay Mommy. I'm here and yes this will all be worth it." So then I just ended up crying and my head started feeling better but I still couldn't sleep. :-)

4 Months, 16 Weeks

     It still seems so surreal that this is me. I keep wondering when it will all sink in. Probably the biggest news to report is that I'm pretty sure I have felt Jellybean moving around. He/she was pretty active in church yesterday. He/She liked the great sermons we had from Pastor Hofmaier (from the Philippines) and from Daddy. ;-) As Jellybean gets bigger I'm really curious to see how much he/she moves when Jeff preaches.We have 4 more weeks and we get to find out who Jellybean is. We cannot wait! I've been dying to decorate the nursery ever since we found out we were pregnant. Since I can't decorate the nursery yet I've been working on other things like...

-Organizing all my maternity clothes in my closet by color. (I have AWESOME friends who have given me lots of clothes. I guess there is an advantage to having your first when some of your friends are done having children.)

- Scheduling Childbirth Classes and hospital tour.

- Reading about and comparing about a million and one kinds of strollers, pack-and-plays, highchairs, etc. (I found a highchair and swing that match my livingroom and kitchen's decor! Pretty pumped about that. I figure baby gear is so big it might as well look nice taking up space right?)

- Getting books like Baby Wise and Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child to read and critique.

- Talking to other moms about what baby gear they like and don't like.

I like to be prepared and organized. :-) I've resisted the urge to sit down and prepare preschool lessons and materials. Because after all I don't know who my student is. LOL!

Once we find out who Jellybean is then I can go crazy registering and decorating! Since I haven't been substitute teaching too much and I am dying to do something with my hands I'm thinking I might sew some of the decor with my Grandma Chase. As soon as I told her that I was pregnant she said, "Well we'll be doing lots of sewing this winter." I've been sewing with her as long as I can remember!

14 Weeks, 98 Days

Yesterday marked the beginning of my 2nd trimester! Wahoo! I have been celebrating all week! I can't believe that we have made it this far! It is funny how much life can change in 14 weeks.
14 weeks ago....
-You would have only caught me in the baby department at stores to buy a baby gift and even then I had to wipe away tears. Now I cannot get out of a store without walking through the baby department.
-Getting through the grocery without tearing up was almost impossible. There were way to many babies and pregnant women. Now I can smile and tears of gratitude come to my eyes.
- My husband and I would see babies in public places, look at each other and say "Oh look!" and then have to quickly think of something else so we could go on. Now we see babies in public places and we smile and talk about how Jellybean will be when he/she is that old. It is fun to be able to dream again.
-I used to cry and/or tear up every day because I couldn't have a baby. Now I cry or tear up every day in thankfulness to my wonderful Savior for bestowing such a wonderful blessing in my life.
- Holidays were only bearable because I held my nieces and nephews. As each year went by it became harder and harder to find real joy on the holidays. Now I cannot wait for the holidays because I know that next year we'll have a four-six month old we can take to the pumpkin patch, go on hayrides, and buy Christmas presents for (as if we won't buy anything for him/her this year). It is wonderful to be able to dream!
-Sometimes it was hard to push back the covers and get on with life, now I wake up place my hand on my stomach and smile. I have another day with my Jellybean.

My life has done a 180 degree turn in the past 14 weeks. At first I struggled with the change. I was afraid to fully embrace it. Afraid to just be happy. I still struggle with the fact that I am here when I have so many girlfriends who would love to be here. Friends who are where I was 14 weeks ago. But at 14 weeks my happiness is uncontainable! I truly feel like I have been given a piece of heaven.

"I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living." Psalm 27:13

The Beginning

Because of all that Daddy and Mommy have been through Mommy is monitored pretty closely. On a Friday in August the nurse called Mommy and told her that her HCG level was 8 (anything above a 5 is considered pregnant). 8 is not a very strong number so the nurse told Mommy that she was pregnant, but it probably wouldn't last because very few women with beginning HCG numbers like that sustain the pregnancy. Mommy got off the phone and pleaded with God to let me live. Mommy and Daddy along with a few dear friends prayed for a miracle that weekend.
On Tuesday Mommy got another blood test. Her HCG level had gone up to 41!!! I was growing just like I should! Mommy ran out to tell Daddy. Daddy told her to stop running. :-)
When I am born Mommy is going to send a picture to the nurse that called that first day so that she can rejoice in God's GOODNESS and POWER!

This is me at 5 weeks and 4 days. You can't really see me yet. The doctor said that I am shy.

I am growing! 6 weeks 4 days. Mommy and Daddy heard my heartbeat for the first time today. It was music to their ears! They nicknamed me Jellybean.

WOW! 11 days later at 8 weeks I grew 4 times bigger! Isn't my Creator AMAZING!

"For Thou didst form my inward parts; Thou didst weave me in my mother's womb.

I will give thanks to Thee, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

Wonderful are Thy works, and my soul knows it very well.

My frame was not hidden from Thee, When I was made in secret, and skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth. Thine eyes have seen my unformed susbstance; and in Thy book they were all written, the days that were ordained for me, when as yet there was not one of them."

Psalm 139:13-16

The fact that my days (and Mommy's and Daddy's) were all ordained before I even came to be is very comforting for Mommy and Daddy. God is a great, kind, and loving God!!

Mommy and I at 12 weeks! Wahoo!!!!!

13 weeks- I am growing just fine! Mommy and Daddy think I am a boy because Mommy craves all the food that Daddy loves (mashed potatoes, mac n cheese, chicken and chocolate). :-)