My Latest Challenge

Well, I always told myself that if God allowed me to get pregnant I wouldn't complain about any of the symptoms. So I think God is just giving me all of these "lovely" symptoms in order to show me that I can't even not complain without His help.
Last night I was up b/c of a stuffy nose, intense sinus pressure, heartburn that really felt more like acid reflux, and aching legs. I was lying on the couch trying to get comfortable and trying not to grumble. I was praying and telling myself that it really is all worth it. When all of the sudden Jellybean started moving. At this point it feels like little taps. Its like he/she was saying, "Its okay Mommy. I'm here and yes this will all be worth it." So then I just ended up crying and my head started feeling better but I still couldn't sleep. :-)

4 Months, 16 Weeks

     It still seems so surreal that this is me. I keep wondering when it will all sink in. Probably the biggest news to report is that I'm pretty sure I have felt Jellybean moving around. He/she was pretty active in church yesterday. He/She liked the great sermons we had from Pastor Hofmaier (from the Philippines) and from Daddy. ;-) As Jellybean gets bigger I'm really curious to see how much he/she moves when Jeff preaches.We have 4 more weeks and we get to find out who Jellybean is. We cannot wait! I've been dying to decorate the nursery ever since we found out we were pregnant. Since I can't decorate the nursery yet I've been working on other things like...

-Organizing all my maternity clothes in my closet by color. (I have AWESOME friends who have given me lots of clothes. I guess there is an advantage to having your first when some of your friends are done having children.)

- Scheduling Childbirth Classes and hospital tour.

- Reading about and comparing about a million and one kinds of strollers, pack-and-plays, highchairs, etc. (I found a highchair and swing that match my livingroom and kitchen's decor! Pretty pumped about that. I figure baby gear is so big it might as well look nice taking up space right?)

- Getting books like Baby Wise and Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child to read and critique.

- Talking to other moms about what baby gear they like and don't like.

I like to be prepared and organized. :-) I've resisted the urge to sit down and prepare preschool lessons and materials. Because after all I don't know who my student is. LOL!

Once we find out who Jellybean is then I can go crazy registering and decorating! Since I haven't been substitute teaching too much and I am dying to do something with my hands I'm thinking I might sew some of the decor with my Grandma Chase. As soon as I told her that I was pregnant she said, "Well we'll be doing lots of sewing this winter." I've been sewing with her as long as I can remember!

14 Weeks, 98 Days

Yesterday marked the beginning of my 2nd trimester! Wahoo! I have been celebrating all week! I can't believe that we have made it this far! It is funny how much life can change in 14 weeks.
14 weeks ago....
-You would have only caught me in the baby department at stores to buy a baby gift and even then I had to wipe away tears. Now I cannot get out of a store without walking through the baby department.
-Getting through the grocery without tearing up was almost impossible. There were way to many babies and pregnant women. Now I can smile and tears of gratitude come to my eyes.
- My husband and I would see babies in public places, look at each other and say "Oh look!" and then have to quickly think of something else so we could go on. Now we see babies in public places and we smile and talk about how Jellybean will be when he/she is that old. It is fun to be able to dream again.
-I used to cry and/or tear up every day because I couldn't have a baby. Now I cry or tear up every day in thankfulness to my wonderful Savior for bestowing such a wonderful blessing in my life.
- Holidays were only bearable because I held my nieces and nephews. As each year went by it became harder and harder to find real joy on the holidays. Now I cannot wait for the holidays because I know that next year we'll have a four-six month old we can take to the pumpkin patch, go on hayrides, and buy Christmas presents for (as if we won't buy anything for him/her this year). It is wonderful to be able to dream!
-Sometimes it was hard to push back the covers and get on with life, now I wake up place my hand on my stomach and smile. I have another day with my Jellybean.

My life has done a 180 degree turn in the past 14 weeks. At first I struggled with the change. I was afraid to fully embrace it. Afraid to just be happy. I still struggle with the fact that I am here when I have so many girlfriends who would love to be here. Friends who are where I was 14 weeks ago. But at 14 weeks my happiness is uncontainable! I truly feel like I have been given a piece of heaven.

"I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living." Psalm 27:13