Yesterday marked the beginning of my 2nd trimester! Wahoo! I have been celebrating all week! I can't believe that we have made it this far! It is funny how much life can change in 14 weeks.
14 weeks ago....
-You would have only caught me in the baby department at stores to buy a baby gift and even then I had to wipe away tears. Now I cannot get out of a store without walking through the baby department.
-Getting through the grocery without tearing up was almost impossible. There were way to many babies and pregnant women. Now I can smile and tears of gratitude come to my eyes.
- My husband and I would see babies in public places, look at each other and say "Oh look!" and then have to quickly think of something else so we could go on. Now we see babies in public places and we smile and talk about how Jellybean will be when he/she is that old. It is fun to be able to dream again.
-I used to cry and/or tear up every day because I couldn't have a baby. Now I cry or tear up every day in thankfulness to my wonderful Savior for bestowing such a wonderful blessing in my life.
- Holidays were only bearable because I held my nieces and nephews. As each year went by it became harder and harder to find real joy on the holidays. Now I cannot wait for the holidays because I know that next year we'll have a four-six month old we can take to the pumpkin patch, go on hayrides, and buy Christmas presents for (as if we won't buy anything for him/her this year). It is wonderful to be able to dream!
-Sometimes it was hard to push back the covers and get on with life, now I wake up place my hand on my stomach and smile. I have another day with my Jellybean.
My life has done a 180 degree turn in the past 14 weeks. At first I struggled with the change. I was afraid to fully embrace it. Afraid to just be happy. I still struggle with the fact that I am here when I have so many girlfriends who would love to be here. Friends who are where I was 14 weeks ago. But at 14 weeks my happiness is uncontainable! I truly feel like I have been given a piece of heaven.
"I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living." Psalm 27:13